Recently AJ posted the question: “Do you ever feel like you’re faking it?” After commenting, I realized that I didn’t actually answer the question, but went straight into the justification of my viewpoint. So to answer the question: Yes, sometimes I feel/know that I’m “faking it.” Faking what? My feelings about a situation would be the most common probably. I consider myself to be a sincere person. For the most part, what you see is what you get. However, I do think that “faking it” is ok in certain situations. Ironically, Beth and I had just had a conversation similar to this and I’ve thought quite a bit about it during that conversation and after AJ’s post and the comments that followed. Here’s my opinion on when it’s ok and not ok to “fake it.”
When is it ok to “fake it”
First, I’ll start with the same example I used in my comment on AJ’s blog. I think it’s ok to fake it when it’s inappropriate to do otherwise. Last semester was pretty rough for me. It was difficult to find a new balance with my grad school responsibilities in lab/teaching/class and one of my classes was hellish (read: class exam averages were around 55%). Add onto that unavoidable tension with some friends. That said, I did not walk around with my heart on my sleeve all semester. I couldn’t and besides that, I don’t think that it would’ve been appropriate to do so. So, if you asked me how I was doing last semester, I probably said “fine” and maybe elaborated that my schedule was tough. Was I fine? Nope, not really, but only God and a few of my closest friends were privy to what was really going on. It wasn’t necessary or appropriate for me divulge all of the inner workings of my heart and mind to every person that asked how I was. So yeah, I “faked” being happy and light-hearted at times last semester because the alternative would have been to be a complaining, gushing, emotional mess--detrimental to others and myself.
Another example. I think it’s ok to “fake it” when it’s for the good of the group. For example, team building activities—the problem-solving ones disguised as games. I don’t like them and for the most part think they’re silly. Are they really going to teach me how to be a leader? No. Are they going to show other team members how I will really act/react when problems arise? Probably not. However, when required to do these activities at a retreat or leadership event, I do it with a smile. I don’t like it. I think it’s pointless. I don’t want to do it. BUT, these things must be important to someone if we’re doing them, even if it’s just the person who planned them. So in that case, I’ll participate willingly—I’ll “fake” my way through it because it is important to someone. I don’t want to spoil it for them.
On the other hand when is it NOT OK to “fake it”
I find this side of things to be a little more straightforward, so I won’t elaborate much. For me, it’s not ok to “fake it”, if:
--it requires me to sacrifice my beliefs, morals, and/or values
--it hurts someone else (mentally, emotionally, or physically)
--it’s a situation like James 3:9-12
This post is obviously not exhaustive (although lengthy). This topic, like many others, is not as easy as we would like to make it, but hopefully, you get an idea of where I’m coming from.
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