A good book has no ending.

Classes are over, grading is finally done, and only one more day in the lab until I take off for a getaway in the country. Time for a little reading... for FUN! Here's my stack of books for the break (which I'm betting is a mere tenth of the stack of books that Beth is planning to read during break ;) )
Evolution under the Microscope (Swift). I borrowed this one from Doug in April. Yeah... April. Totally interested in the subject, I just find it hard to motivate myself to pick up a dense science text when I get home after I've been thinking about science all day! Must finish it. Seriously (And discuss)

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Rowling). Probably my 4th go through this one. Love it. "I open at the close." GAH.

Old Testament Turning Points (Matthews). Required reading for the OT seminar at ECC in early February. With two classes, teaching, and research next semester, I'd better get this one finished now.

The Return of the King (Tolkien). I've been promising all the LOTR summer book club friends that I would read this so that we could all watch the movie together soon. I will make good on this promise. :) I go to find the sun. (Out of all the LOTR quotes why is this the one that sticks in my head?! I have no idea, but I like it.)

The House at Pooh Corner (Milne). A birthday gift from a friend. I've been reading snippets before bed this week and totally enjoying Milne's whimsy.

And as is typical of me... since I can't pick just one to start with... and have to have a book for every mood, I'm at least halfway through three of them.

Slacktivism

Slacktivism
formed out of the words slacker and activism

term that describes "feel-good" measures, in support of an issue or social cause, that have little or no practical effect other than to make the person doing it feel satisfaction

examples: online petitions, awareness wristbands, ribbon bumper stickers, joining facebook group, youtube videos

This subject was brought up by Mateo today as Twitter was flooded with World AIDS Day related posts. And I recall having a similar conversation with Emily a few months ago regarding people changing their facebook statuses to reflect their support of healthcare reform. (I tried to find the convo, but searching months of facebook wall posts is ridiculous and incredibly inefficient.)

On one hand, I totally agree with the cynical view that chiming in on a twitter trending topic or changing a facebook status is worthless and just a way to make us feel like we're making a difference without getting out of our chairs and really doing anything about it. But on the other hand, I think something is better than nothing. Maybe no one clicked on the link I posted today for World AIDS Day, but there were also thousands of other people who posted the same thing. And at some point someone clicked on it and read the site and hopefully learned more about HIV and AIDS. That one small action won't do much, but when it comes to something like HIV/AIDS I really do think that awareness is the first step to knocking down prejudices, misconceptions, and mistreatment of those who have it, gaining a better understanding of the importance of developing vaccines and/or immunotherapies and more funding with which to do so, and in the end making life better for a lot of people. I'm not so naive to think that government funding agencies are going to listen to a bunch of people on twitter, but I think there is value in getting a lot of people involved on the ground level and even just making them think about it instead of ignoring it. And I'm not so naive to think that people aren't just doing it with the "slacktivism" mindset to make themselves feel more active. Here's a little insight into my mindset when I do something like this and how to keep it from becoming slacktivism:

1. Only facebook/twitter/etc causes that you really believe in. If you post every cause you can get your hands on it'll just be white noise or your facebook friends will 'hide' you in their newsfeed. So for me, virus-related diseases are close to home since I study them. HIV is especially big since it affects a large population (~33 million according to WHO) and is pretty difficult to combat. Another is the Downs Syndrome Buddy Walk. Bloomington started their own 2yrs ago to benefit people with Downs in the Btown area. The daughter of one of my professors has Downs; she's 5 and an awesome kid.

2. Make an effort to be involved in the causes you share online. I've done the Buddy Walk the last 2 yrs, and this year got some classmates to do it with me. Last year I wrote this post regarding companies that take the slacktivism to a consumerism level and I said I'd skip the middle man and donate straight to the RED campaign. I'll admit that I never got around to it, but I'm doing it now. You can too. Even just learning about the cause and spreading the word can make a difference.

3. Pray. Can you think of a better action to take than to bring it before our God?! Here are my prayer requests concerning World AIDS Day.
For God's healing of those struggling with HIV/AIDS and secondary infections.
For them to feel God's love and hope.
For support, rest, and health of the families and caretakers.
For funding for research of HIV, antiretroviral drugs, vaccines, and immunotherapy.
For God's guidance and blessing on these scientists and medical doctors and their work.
For understanding, compassion, and wisdom for the general public regarding HIV/AIDS.

4. Believe that God can use the internet for good. And that a lot of (biologically) unrelated people from around the world can come together and do something BIG. Case and point.

So there are my thoughts. At the end of the day, I can't cure AIDS, but I think something is better than nothing. What do you think?

Waiting on the weekend...

This week has been jam-packed and exhausting... and it's only Wednesday. Looking forward to seeing these two munchkins this weekend. Can't wait for Friday.


(And if I can get Bobby to tell me this story, that will be the icing on the cake.)

God uses little people to do BIG things

Inspiring, Empowering, Delight-filled, God-glorifying

After an innocent question from his 6 yr old daughter, Jon Acuff, blogger and author Stuff Christians Like, decided to set a goal to raise $30,000 by Dec 31st to build a Kindergarten for kids in a low income area of Vietnam.

This morning he posted the idea for the first time and asked his SCL readers to join the cause: read the post here.

Hearts overflowing with generosity, the SCL readers came through big time. Right now, less than 24 hours after the original post, over $30, 500 has been donated. Read about it here.

Yesterday, in the 4 and 5 yr olds room we talked about David and Goliath and how God can use little people to do BIG things. How he can swoop in to save his people with just a boy and a rock. He just did it again. He used a blog... an online group of his people... to give kids in an underprivileged area a chance to go to school and to learn about Him.

If that's not inspiring, I don't know what is. To quote Bob's last two sermons, live generously and light a candle in the darkness... and watch how God will use you to bless others.

I get things done... efficiently and with a little science-geek flair

Between this cake (our Sindbis-GFP expressing fruit fly holding Sindbis virus balloons) and my organizational emails, I think I just unintentionally secured my position as the Hardy lab party planner.

Where does our information come from?

I just read an editorial in TIME magazine on vaccinations: "To vaccinate or not to vaccinate" by Joel Stein. It was amusing, but I was caught off guard by his concluding statements,

"What I do know is that I'm pretty confident in the way I get my knowledge. Even in the age of Google and Wikipedia, we still receive almost all of our information through our peers. I believe in evolution not because I've read Darwin but because everyone I know thinks it's true. When presented with doubts, I don't search for detailed information from my side. I go with the consensus of mainstream media, academia and the government. Not because they're always right but because they're right far more often than not, and I have a TiVo to watch."

Really? I'm not saying it's completely wrong to reason this way at times. It's necessary because we just don't have the time to seek out all the detailed answers about everything. eg I heard through my roommate, through the internet, through some meteorologist somewhere that it might rain so I'll take my umbrella. But when it comes to big stuff--like is it safe to vaccinate yourself and your kid, you need to look a little farther than your next door neighbor (unless you're living next door to a doctor of medicine or virology.) Just last week I was getting my haircut and one of the ladies next to me was saying something like "I heard that the vaccine has dangerous components that will make it worse if you get the flu." Whaaaatt? No. I've done my research. It's not bad to get information from friends but just make sure you know where they got it--hearsay? media (who are not scientists and can twist things for a story)? or from a reliable source (CDC, WHO, doctor educated on viruses, leading virologist in the field)? And don't contribute further to the false information by spreading things you "heard" as absolute fact.
*Stepping off soapbox now*

Never too early to start 'em on Dylan

One more time...

Sorry to keep bugging you about this, but I think it's important! If you haven't already, you should get your seasonal flu vaccine (available at most local pharmacies.) And when the H1N1 vaccine becomes available you should get that too (hopefully in the next month or so). If you're one of those people who claims that they "don't usually get the flu," please realize that H1N1 is in pandemic status, which means that it's spreading far and wide all over the world. So far, more than 1 million Americans have caught it (according to the article below) and we've only just begun the actual flu season which will increase spread. Therefore, odds are you will be in contact with it at some point... and most likely get it.

Not only will these vaccines keep you from getting the flu (which will keep you from feeling like crap for a few weeks), but as a result it will also keep you from spreading the flu to other people who may be at higher risk for more serious disease. Do it to protect yourself, do it to protect others!

Here is an article (by Paul Offit) concerning myths about the H1N1 vaccine that are floating around the media and the "science news cycle." In short, the H1N1 vaccine:

• was made in the same way as the seasonal vaccine. This process has been used for 60+ years.
• was tested for efficacy and safety in thousands of trial participants before being licensed by the FDA.
• does not contain adjuvants.
• preservatives are included in low levels and have not been linked to other health issues.

And if you don't believe Dr. Offit (chief of infectious diseases division at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia), here's another article by Dr. Racaniello, a leading virologist at Columbia.

Ok, I'll stop now. :)

Not finished

Once a month in the 4s & 5s room at church, a woman named Patty comes to read a story to the kids. Patty sits in an electric wheelchair. She doesn't have any use of her legs as far as I can tell and I'm guessing that her arm motion and speech used to be smoother too. Patty's always enthusiastic when she comes in to see the kids; she asks them questions throughout the story and lets them honk the horn on her wheelchair before she leaves.

This week Patty read them a story about a caterpillar named Hermie who just wasn't satisfied with life. Throughout the story Hermie's friends tell him to be patient, that God just isn't finished with him yet. Of course as you might guess, at the end of the book Hermie changes into a beautiful butterfly.

After Patty was done reading the story, I walked with her back to the sanctuary to help her with the doors. As we went down the hallway she told me a bit of her story. It went something like this: "I just love that story. You know it's true: God's not finished with any of us yet. I used to be a professor. Did you know that? Yes, a political theory professor. I never did like the 'publish or perish' atmosphere much. Then I had my accident. I was on my bike and a car hit me. Now, I read to the kids here at church and at the school. And you know what? I'm in my element! God wasn't finished with me yet and he's still not finished. And he's not finished with you either."

Man, what a blessing! I talked all of 3 minutes with this woman and she totally just rocked it. Her outlook on life is so encouraging and it's obvious that she completely trusts God with the entirety of it. So many times I see where I am as a daughter, sister, friend, disciple and I'm not satisfied with it. Part of it is me not putting in the effort necessary to move forward sometimes, and part of it is not believing that God will make it happen. But I know that he's not finished with me and just because I screw it up doesn't mean that he can't take it and make it into something beautiful. So if I keep seeking him (keep walking even though sometimes I stop) and trust that he knows best, I can be confident that change will happen. He's not finished with me yet and I think last Sunday he totally knew that I needed to hear that and I needed to hear it from Patty.

Big kids now

Add this to the pile of pictures that are adorable now, but they'll hate when they're teenagers.


(And apparently they're in the living room because they have to be "entertained" in order to get them to sit on the potty chairs for any amount of time. haha)

dawk and alister, pt 1

With the upcoming 'themester' at IU regarding evolution, I've been thinking through my own viewpoints (albeit incomplete) and extending my knowledge through conversations with friends and literature from scientists and theologians. Today I was talking with a bio professor that I work with (who also happens to be a full time pastor!) about Dawkins' imminent talk coming up on campus. He mentioned that he finds Dawkins' arguments relatively easy to deal with simply for the fact that Dawkins doesn't really seem to understand faith or religion at all.

Tonight, I began listening to this conversation between Dawkins (RD) and Alister McGrath (AM). AM is a Christian theologian who also has a PhD in molecular biophysics. About 12 minutes or so into the video, RD makes a point that Christians should not (cannot) use improbability of nature and living things as a reason for God because the existence of God is just as improbable. That is, he comments that God popping into existence is just as improbable as a complex organ (the eye) popping into existence. I think this in itself goes to show his lack of understanding. AM tries to explain that God is not IN this natural order... He created it. He is outside of that which he created. And despite all improbabilities, you can say that we are here right now in this moment (including our eyes and other complex organs) so at some point you have to make a decision about what improbability is least improbable.

RD goes on to say that if AM believed in a "God that evolved I'd be much happier." Whoa, RD. Again, there's some basic theology you're missing, I think. To believe in a God that evolved would mean that there was room for improvement. That God was not perfect to begin with; that he developed in some way. Again, this is putting God into our natural order that we (try to) observe here on Earth, instead of realizing that He is outside of all that; He's supernatural. RD also mentions that he would be more comfortable with the idea of a simple God. Really? Why do you want to make God wimpy? Why would you be more comfortable with a God who constantly changes or who is simple in our human minds? It seems to me that RD wants to work God into our framework. That he thinks we're the ones that figure it all out and God should fit into our way of being, into the natural world he created. It's kind of like saying that if a man builds a house, he will be part of that house in the same way a wall is; that he would settle as the house does, he would need to be painted and remodeled and developed as the house is. When actually that's not the case at all. The man would be able to interact with the house but he will never BE a part of the house in the way that the wall is (I realize this analogy isn't perfect, but maybe you get my point).

Anyway, that's it for tonight, but there will probably be more to come on this. :)

PSA: Flu vaccines, go get 'em.

There will be 2 flu vaccines this year: a trivalent one with the 3 current seasonal strains, and a monovalent with the pandemic H1N1.

Reasons from the CDC for not putting these two together can be found here.

I suggest you get both vaccines, if possible. Odds are you won't die from H1N1 (at least not if it continues to follow current trends), but you'll save yourself a couple of weeks of feeling like you've been hit with a Mack truck full of mucus and give your body immunity.

If you're an IU student/staff/faculty, they'll be giving the seasonal vaccine at the health center and at various locations (e.g. the library) all over campus beginning in the next month or so. I think it will be a little longer before the pandemic H1N1 vaccine is available at all and/or to the general public (higher risk populations will get it first.)

And if you're scared of needles, I'll even come with you and hold your hand. :)

Read the introduction

If the first few pages of a book are titled "Introduction" or "Preface" or are numbered with roman numerals, 4 times out of 5 I won't read them. I guess I usually view them as wasting my time... come on, let's get to the real stuff! But despite my typical impatience for these pages, I do recognize their importance in many cases, like Tolkien using the intro to explain about hobbits in LOTR (especially helpful since I picked up The Hobbit last summer and never finished it) or Willard using the intro of The Great Omission to explain his reason for writing on discipleship. The introduction offers important pieces of information that will come into play later or shed light on the next few steps of the story.

So many times, I find life to be the same way, I can see that place that I want to be and the kind of faith that I want my mustard seed to grow into. But I feel like God constantly has to reign me in a little... keep me from getting ahead of myself. He promises to get me there eventually (or someplace better that I can't even see), but He wants me to read the introduction first so I'll be prepared, learn to walk so that I can run, go through this trial so that I can learn to handle the next, lean on Him with this small weakness so that I'll automatically turn to Him when bigger strength is required. I can try diving right into the first chapter, cutting a few corners, but then I only become discouraged from the pieces I'm missing and my inadequacy causes a constant struggle.

So my advice: read the metaphorical introduction. In hindsight, you'll be glad you did.
and if you get impatient... remember, as I was once told during a momentary panic, the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.

WAKE UP.

A record setting move for me: this morning I hit the snooze button on both my phone and my alarm clock every 5 or 7 minutes (respectively) for 2 solid hours. 7:00, 7:05, 7:07, 7:10, 7:14, 7:15, etc. Yeah... THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

Tonight, I'm moving the alarm clock and my phone out of reach from my bed. This dependency on the snooze button must stop. Otherwise I will be forced to purchase one of these technological marvels (which I promise you I would hate with a passion), both suggested by the YH ladies this evening.
The Puzzle Clock. "When the alarm goes off, the pieces go flying! Quickly assemble the puzzle by matching the colors and shapes to turn off the alarm off."
I don't do anything "quickly" in the morning for at least an hour. And you know that one of the pieces is inevitably going to roll under the bed. The clock would get unplugged before those pieces would get put back. This would just make me angry.

SnuzULuz. "It's human nature not to give your enemies gobs of cash so that they can grow big and dominate the world with their totally wrong, stupid and invalid point of view. That's why everytime you hit the snooze button, the SnūzNLūz will donate a specified amount of your real money to a non-profit you hate."
What a wonderful way to start your day. With hatred. And a cause that you are completely against. I mean, I guess it would make you think a little harder about pressing that snooze button.

Moving the clock and being a little more disciplined should do the trick, I think. Better than waking up angry and anxious, which I predict would be the result of either of these alarms. However, if I could get an alarm clock that yells "MEGAN, GET OUT OF BED!" like my mom used to do up our stairway, that would do the trick.

Exotic barnyard fowl

Kind of on a whim, I decided to take a drive after work this evening through rural Monroe County. It was a great evening for a drive. Partly sunny and just cool enough to roll the windows down and just listen to the hum of the engine, a few twittering birds, and the buzz of summer insects. I was driving along enjoying the country roads lined with trees and corn and soybean fields. A dilapidated barn, some cattle, a couple horse farms. Something caught my eye on the side of the road and I noticed this beautiful bird standing in the ditch beside a corn field. It had a shimmery blue head and neck and a little tuft on top of its head. By the time I stopped and got out of the car, I was positive that it was a peacock (although no eyed tail feathers, so a peahen if you want to be biologically correct.) Wot?! What is a peacock doing along the side of the road in rural Indiana?! I tried to take a picture of her, but she ran across the road towards a fence. That's when I noticed a few other birds, same shape and size but white ones this time. A peacock farm?! Sure enough. I googled peafowl breeders and there's one listed in Bloomington, Indiana on the same road I was on. Weird.

Full circle

My brother, Chad, was about 2 years old when our Uncle Lee began dating Danielle, who is now our aunt. It didn't take long before Chad was in love. He thought Danielle was pretty much the coolest person ever and put on his best 2 yr old flirting act whenever she was around (including being right by her side wherever she was at, note picture.) Whenever we would see Lee and Danielle out somewhere, my mom would tell Chad, "Look, there's Uncle Lee and Danielle" and then whistle. To a 2 yr old who copies everything anyone says, a whistle comes out as words: "Wooooo wooooo." So for Chad's toddler years, my aunt was affectionately known as WooWoo. Uncle Lee and WooWoo. (Actually it was more like Uncle Wee and WooWoo because Chad had trouble with his L sounds back then. :) )

Now, Lee and Danielle have their own kids: twins, Bobby and Haley who just turned 2. Haley loves to point out and name all of our family members in the pictures at grandma's house. She always stops a little longer at Chad's senior picture and she likes to be close by whenever Chad is around... sitting on his lap, playing with him, etc. Danielle commented this week: "I think Chad is Haley's WooWoo." :)

Happy Birthday, Haley and Bobby!

My favorite kiddos turn 2 years old today!

science + etsy

I got this link to molecular jewelry on Etsy.com from Jenny today, and I have to say these base pair earrings are awesome. Seriously... I want them. Just out of curiosity I searched the site with the term "science" and found some pretty interesting stuff. A few of my favorite geeky/quirky/strange items are below. Enjoy.



A must for every chem teacher.... the periodic table tie.




For concocting things in the kitchen.... a test tube spice rack.


And the weirdest thing I found... just in case you're too squeamish for the real thing... a knitted frog dissection kit, including conveniently color-coded organs.

For your viewing pleasure...

My desktop background....

I can't stop staring at it... with the exception of Fenrir Greyback who scares me. Nine days.

Name a scientist

There was a post on the virology blog I occasionally read about a recent USA Today survey in which 1000 adults were asked to name a famous scientist. The results posted below are kinda sad. Almost a quarter couldn't do it and poor science education was cited as a probable cause. So just for kicks (and without any googling) if someone asked you to name a famous scientist what would you say? Or even more important (I think), a significant scientific discovery, other than electricity and E=mc^2?

47% named Albert Einstein
23% could not name anyone
6% named Marie Curie
4% named Louis Pasteur
4% named Thomas Edison

Snape Snape Severus Snape

This (almost) never gets old. :) Enjoy.

The 'appearance' of wisdom

How does the perception of image affect our recognition and respect of wisdom?

I've been tossing this question around in my head ever since we discussed Tom Bombadil at LOTR book club awhile back. Someone mentioned Tom's knowledge and/or wisdom and it caught me a little off guard because I didn't see him in that light. I found Tom to be an intriguing and entertaining character and while he did get the hobbits out of a couple tight corners, I still viewed him as more of a silly character. He kind of reminded me of Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum in Alice in Wonderland--appearing as if from nowhere in the forest, singing merry tunes of nonsense. But that made me think: did I miss something? Was I disregarding what Tom had to offer simply because he was singing silly songs in his big yellow boots? And overall, do I/we miss out on learning from others because they don't look or act quite like we think they should?

Here's an example from another one of my favorites:

This asteroid has only once been seen through the telescope. That was by a Turkish astronomer, in 1909. On making his discovery, the astronomer had presented it to the International Astronomical Congress, in a great demonstration. But he was in Turkish costume, and so nobody would believe what he said. Grown-ups are like that... Fortunately, however, for the reputation of Asteroid B-612, a Turkish dictator made a law that his subjects, under the pain of death, should change to European costume. So in 1920 the astronomer gave his demonstration all over again, dressed with impressive style and elegance. And this time everybody accepted his report.
-From The Little Prince, by Antoine de St Exupery.

On the same note, I'm much more likely to give creedence to someone like Gandalf. With his tall pointed hat, long grey cloak, "long white beard and bushy eyebrows that stuck out beyond the brim of his hat" than Tom with his yellow boots, singing "Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo!" Gandalf's appearance and entrance are more sober, classic, grown-up.... socially acceptable by our standards. And beyond that, bits of wisdom are laced through his conversations. I think if this were not the case, that is if his conversations were filled with foolish statements and dishonesty, it would quickly discredit him despite his appearance. However, since this is not the case, his appearance strengthens his overall reputation.

First impressions based on appearance definitely have the opportunity to guide our perceptions of people. And it's necessary, I think for us to be able to make reasonably quick decisions and judgements about the validity of a person/problem/situation. But, how can we be more cognizant of socially and culturally enforced ideals, so as not to trust or distrust based heavily on appearance or image? Still tossing it around, with probably more posts to come... thoughts?

FYI

Just keeping you informed. :) My comments are in [brackets]

Swine flu [H1N1] pandemic declared by World Health Organization

"...officially raising its infectious diseases alert to Phase 6, its highest level, in recognition of the fact that the virus is now undergoing communitywide transmission in Australia as well as North America. Such spread in two distinct regions of the world is the primary criterion for raising the alert level." [Note: "pandemic" indicates global spread, not necessarily more pathogenic]

"But the agency said that the pandemic is only 'moderate in severity'"
"...overwhelming evidence that the virus is mild in its effects."

"Experts fear, however, that as it passes through populations, it could mutate to become more lethal and return with increased force during the winter influenza season." [Note: I'd like to know who the experts are and what they are basing this on before I make a judgement about increased pathogenicity however, keep in mind that we're not in a normal flu season which means that if the virus holds out until fall/winter it will be able to spread even easier because virus particles can travel much farther in less humid conditions]

"In most industrialized countries, the rise in alert level will have little practical effect as health authorities were already behaving as though a pandemic had been declared." (but will make bigger difference in Third World countries--freeing up funds for treatment and prevention)

-raise in alert will accelerate vaccine production, but it will still take 4-6 mths to develop for commercial use

-this is the first global influenza epidemic in 41 years; last one was Hong Kong flu in 1968--killed ~1 million world wide [2-4x the amount that seasonal flu kills yearly]

-H1N1 141 deaths/27,737 cases; mortality rate of 0.5% [this is high; I think during a normal flu season it's about 0.1%--I'll have to look it up again]
-more mild cases suspected [which would lower this percentage]

Pursuing it with eager feet, until it joins some larger way

I'm reading LOTR for the first time this summer with a group of friends and quite enjoying it thus far. So before I get much further into it, here are a few favourites. (And a few extra 'u's thrown in, in honor of Tolkien. :) )

Fellowship, Book 1, Ch I-IV
Favourite character: Gandalf
Quote: Gandalf on Gollum

"Deserves it! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be so eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends."

Fellowship, Book 1, Ch V-XII
Favourite character: Aragorn
Quotes: Aragorn

"'But I must admit,' he added with a queer laugh, 'that I hoped you would take to me for my own sake. A hunted man sometimes wearies of distrust and longs for friendship.'"

"'But I am the real Strider, fortunately,' he said, looking down at them with his face softened by a sudden smile. 'I am Aragorn son of Arathorn; and if by life or death I can save you, I will.'"

Fellowship, Book 2, Ch I-III
Favourite characters: Gandalf, Aragorn, Elrond
Quotes: Gandalf, Elrond

"'Despair or folly?' said Gandalf. 'It is not despair, for despair is only for those who see the end beyond all doubt. We do not. It is wisdom to recognise necessity, when all other courses have been weighed, though as folly it may appear to those who cling to false hope."

"The road must be trod, but it will be very hard. And neither strength nor wisdom will carry us far upon it. This quest may be attempted by the weak with as much hope as the strong. Yet such is oft the course of deeds that move the wheels of the world: small hands do them because they must, while the eyes of the great are elsewhere."

My weekend in pictures

I went home last weekend

To see my little brother graduate from high school.


He did a great job giving his salutatorian speech!


We also celebrated my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary!



And I got to see my (almost) 2 yr old twin cousins, Haley and Bobby. They colored pictures and played piano and fought over this car, which resulted in some tears and eventually a bite ("Hayee bite. No Hayee!)


And we cuddled when they got sleepy.


And they wrestled a bit--soooo funny! Their ever expanding vocabulary is also a hit. They call each other "Hayee" and "Bobba" and "geen boon" = green balloon, etc.

Throw in a little family craziness and it made for a wonderful weekend!

Three's company

Or alternatively titled by Erica: "Coming out of the type 3 closet"

The first time I took the enneagram sometime last fall, I tested as a 2: the helper--need to be needed. Ever since when I've mentioned being a 2 I've gotten looks from Sarah and Nicole, similar to the pictures on the right (but with better lighting and sans glasses). They were convinced that I was a 3:the achiever even though I was pretty sure that the 2 description fit pretty well. It is interesting that the 2/3 types have similar fears and desires (2: fear--being unwanted, desire--to be loved; 3: fear--being worthless, desire--to be valuable).

After another suggestion that I was a 3 from Erica and a few more looks from Sarah after YH yesterday, I retook the test... with the same results.



My highest score is type 2; however, the integration/disintegration for a 2 (what each type will do under healthy or stressful circumstances, 4 and 8 for a 2) are my lowest scores, while the int/disint for a 3 (6 and 9) are my next highest scores. Ah! Wot is going on?! On top of that, I identify with most parts of the misidentification description enough that I can't tell which wins out.

So at the suggestion of Sarah, back to examining the levels of a 2 and 3 and figuring out what fits. The conclusion? I identify with ALL of the type 3 levels, but only some of the type 2 levels... and really not the lower ones at all for 2. Here are a few type 3 snippets, the good, the bad, and the ugly:

Self-accepting, inner-directed, and authentic, everything they seem to be.
Self-assured, energetic, and competent.
Highly concerned with their performance, doing their job well, constantly driving self to achieve goals as if self-worth depends on it.
Become image-conscious, highly concerned with how they are perceived.
Fearing failure and humiliation, and willing to do "whatever it takes" to preserve the illusion of their superiority.
Devious and deceptive so that their mistakes and wrongdoings will not be exposed.

I've always been driven by the ladder of success, avoiding failure (so much that I often wouldn't/won't do something if I don't know I can succeed at it) and somewhat by status as well. Honors diploma, class officer, and believe it or not I have a tiara from a pageant. Last year when I was applying to grad school I had to deal with it a lot, I considered the PhD at that point but I knew I was thinking about it just because it was the highest wrung on the ladder. (Now, I'm switching to the PhD for the right reasons. :) ) And if you add a two-wing to the whole description, it's even more like me: "Sincere desire to do well by others. If they have achieved some measure of success they are generous in their mentorship of others. [I like to teach!] Strong social focus because they need so much validation from others."

To throw in another good friend's perspective, Beth mentioned this: "Also, I see you in a lot of situations where you take control to make sure things are on track (3) and stable (9). When you are under extreme stress (last fall...) you definitely have a strong idea of what you think the situation should be (8, but also 3), but you tend toward inaction (9) rather than manipulating the situation to your liking (8). And in integration I can definitely see you going to 6 rather than 4. You've got an artsy and creative side, but you're not a 4."

So there you have it: Sarah, Nicole, and Erica were right--I'm totally a 3w2.
And I'm going to stop this post now, because it's starting to feel awfully narcissistic. :)

Why I think four-year-olds are great

Today in the 4s & 5s room after the story was told and the construction paper crafts were put away, I played legos with Gavin, a sweet four year old with a great imagination. No better way to spend a joy-filled Sunday morning. There's no one like a child to bring you out of a self-centered outlook. Suddenly you find yourself elbow deep in a tub of legos trying to get a four year old interested enough in the fort you're building so that he won't be as concerned about being in a group of kids he doesn't know so well. And it's just fun to be absorbed in the whimsy and imagination of a four year old. There can be windows without walls and a dog that's larger than the lego people and the steering wheel in the middle of the yard that may or may not control something--it doesn't have to make sense; it can be whatever you want it to be, no rhyme or reason. On the other side of the room Maya and Eli were jumping up and down because they had finished a 100 piece puzzle that they started before story time. Christopher beamed when he managed to spell out his entire first name on a piece of construction paper--11 letters is no small feat for a four year old! They make me smile and laugh and get excited about things that I wouldn't have batted an eye at yesterday. I love looking at life through the eyes of a kid and I think they teach me just as much as I try to teach them.

We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto

The Wizard of Oz is my favorite movie of all time. Recently a friend gave me Return to Oz. I actually hadn't seen it before, although I do remember begging my grandma to rent it at the video store when I was about 5 yrs old. The Wheelers scared me and she wouldn't let me watch the rest of it because she thought I would have nightmares. Probably a good call, grandma. Haha. Anyway, here's my take on the film.

Return to Oz was made by Disney in 1985. It has an awkward charm; weird but completely enjoyable. The thing you have to remember about Return to Oz is that the director didn't intend for it to be a direct sequel to (or really, anything at all like) the Judy Garland musical. Although, ROz is based on the 2nd and 3rd Oz books by L. Frank Baum.

It's definitely darker than WOz, but totally entertaining in a quirky sort of way. Dorothy has been back in Kansas for awhile and talking about Oz, making Auntie Em think she's gone mad. Dorothy has to escape from the evil electro-shock therapy clinic and ends up floating on a river to Oz. There're no cheerful Munchkins or Glinda, the good witch, dressed in a sparkly bubblegum colored dress, but there is Tik-Tok the robot, Jack Pumpkinhead, Gump--a mounted moose head attached to a couch for most of the movie and Billina the talking chicken (who would be much less annoying if she didn't talk). They have to save the land of Oz, Princess Ozma and the Scarecrow, the Tinman, and the Cowardly Lion. The villains in this movie are by far the strangest part. There's Princess Mombi who has a room full of heads that she pops on and off like wigs, The Wheelers (who still kind of creep me out: see pic)--think rollerblades for hands and feet along with bad makeup, crazy clothes, and cackling laughter, and the claymation stone cross-dressing Nome king, who is wearing the ruby slippers.

Bits and pieces of this movie remind me of Narnia. Dorothy returns to Oz to find the Yellow Brick Road and the Emerald City in ruins. All of the people of the Emerald City have been turned to stone (and some decapitated for Mombi's collection). The Nome king lives on a snow covered mountain, and the rocks are all spies for the king--remniscent of the trees in Narnia. Interesting coincidences.

I enjoyed it although WOz is several (decapitated) heads above in ranking, and if you're interested in watching it with me I'll probaby watch it again soon (maybe along with WOz). See it if: you like dark and quirky 80s movies with ridiculous characters, claymation, animatronics, and have no expectations of it being anything like WOz. Don't see it if: you're 5 yrs old.

[Take home lesson from the end of ROz: Behold the power of the incredible edible egg.]

It's like playing "Telephone"

The Science News Cycle

Haha! This is why I have spent an inordinate amount of time explaining the swine flu lately.

A summer evening

As daylight steadily fades to dusk
Beauty takes every form, filling our senses with delight
The breeze rustling through leafy treetops
Whispers to the water trickling a song on its way to the pond
Cardinals are bits of crimson flitting through the branches
and squirrels scamper away to forage for another meal
A sparrow tiptoes close by, curious to read over our shoulders
Here we sit, in dewy grass made with joy from the Creator's heart
Flashes of lightning highlight clouds against the darkness
Our eyes are lifted up, finding You in your creation
Seeing your power in bolts dashing across the midnight sky
Feeling your gentle touch in the summer air washing over us
Through our awe, we find voices of prayer
Celebrating your character and glorifying your triumphs
As we raise our humble refrain, the frogs join in our song
A gentle hymn from human and amphibian alike
May we never cease to praise your name.

Social science

My cells aren't ready for experiments and I'm dragging my feet on writing my committee meeting report intro, soooo blog post...

A couple of non-scientist friends have commented over the past year or so that it is interesting that I enjoy working in the lab so much, especially since I’m a two and typically like interacting with people. An understandable perspective. But if you peek into my life in the lab, it might give a little insight to my love of the laboratory atmosphere.

First, science as a whole is totally interactive. Scientists must communicate to make significant progress. The IU biology department prides itself on its collegiate atmosphere, both intradepartmental and interdepartmental, as well as intercollegiate. There are collaborations all over the place. For example, our lab wants to put our virus in fruit flies to simulate what it does in mosquitoes. We don’t know much about fruit flies—but the Kumar lab does! Collaboration!We have meetings every couple of weeks to talk with them about experiments and get their advice.

Second, science involves learning. All. The. Time. It never stops. You’ve got to keep expanding your knowledge base. This requires talking to lab mates to get their knowledge and sharing yours with them. Lately, Brian has been helping me troubleshoot a pesky Western blot that I can’t get to work. His advice speeds up my experimental process a lot more than if I were trying to do it on my own (although yesterday he said “Yeah, this is the point at which I’d be going to Rich—nothing’s working! Help!!” haha.) Likewise, I know a fair amount about our microscope and using it for fluorescence experiments, so yesterday I was helping Michelle adjust settings on the scope and using the computer software that goes with the camera. Beyond the one-on-one interactions, we also have weekly 1.5 hr lab meetings during which people present their most recent data and the rest of the lab members chip in by asking questions and offering suggestions for new experiments and improving current ones.

Last, but definitely not least, I work in a very social lab. Actually, we’re three labs that are kind of intertwined and everyone gets along great. Lots of friendships, and teasing, and cake! Our lab eats lots of birthday cake, and coffee cake, and practice wedding cake, and hey, it’s cinco de mayo… let’s eat cake (no joke, this happened.)

Sometimes when people hear that I work in a lab, they think that I do experiments in silence all day without any contact with other people. Totally not true. It’s not constant interaction like teaching is, but I talk to/learn from/socialize with people throughout the day. It’s great! And at the risk of letting out the secret that I’m even geekier than you think I am, I get really excited when I get to toss around ideas with other scientists. If anyone has talked with me after I’ve just gotten out of a meeting when I’ve been discussing science with my PI/other PIs/labmates/etc, you’ve seen it. All in all, science is a great field for a somewhat introverted two. Gah, I love my job.

Doubting doubt on SCL

It's "Serious Wednesday" on StuffChristiansLike. And by "Serious Wednesday," Jon Acuff (writer of SCL) means that he'll start out with his usual hilarious satire and by the end totally loop back to convict and touch your heart with what he's been learning. Today's post on Mark 9:14-26 was great; thought I'd share a bit (and I promise I'll get back to writing original stuff soon... my last several posts have been quotes) :

"At this point, if you doubt that Jesus understands doubt, if you doubt that God tolerates doubt, the cry "help me overcome my unbelief" should earn this man an old school temple clearing style whipping. He’s just told the son of God to his face that he has doubt and unbelief. But how does Jesus respond?

...

We doubt. We struggle. We wrestle with unbelief. And you know how Jesus responds to that?

He heals.

He loves.

He lifts up people that look dead to everyone but him.

I would love to say I don't doubt, but that would be a lie.

The truth is, I do.

And when I find myself there, I don't try to hide it or fake it or kill myself over it. I pray a prayer an unnamed man in the Bible first said to Christ."

More virus variations than stars in the milky way

Why is it difficult to study viruses? They just keep changing! They can mutate and evolve rapidly compared to anything else, leading to numerous variations of any one virus. Check out this quote about the possible virus variants from Dr. Vincent Rancaniello, virologist at Columbia University Medical Center.

"The answer is quite simple: for a genome N nucleotides in length, there are 4^N possible variants, because there are 4 different nucleotides. This is a huge number, even for small viral genomes. For example, there are 10¹⁸⁰ different variants for a genome that is only 300 nucleotides in length. The HIV-1 genome, which is about 10,000 nucleotides in length, can exist as 10⁶⁰²⁰ different sequences. To put this number in perspective, there are 10¹¹ stars in the Milky Way galaxy and 10⁸⁰ protons in the universe."

No limitations

I'm still dwelling on and marveling at this thought from the Yellow House study this week.

The Spirit doesn't have a problem with scale.
--paraphrased from Christina

In the beginning God (prepared, formed, fashioned, and) created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and an empty waste, and darkness was upon the face of the very great deep. The Spirit of God was moving (hovering, brooding*) over the face of the waters.
Genesis 1:1-2 (Amplified Bible)

After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly. Acts 4:31

*I particularly love the thought of the Spirit brooding over the earth.

Unique in all the world

From The Little Prince by Antoine St Exupery, Ch 21:

[background: The little prince is from a planet that is only occupied by him, a rose--his only friend, and pesky baobab trees. He goes on a journey which eventually leads him to Earth. Along the way he learns many life lessons, among them those about the importance of friendship.]

The little prince went away, to look again at the roses.

"You are not at all like my rose," he said. "As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made him my friend, and now he is unique in all the world."

And the roses were very much embarassed.

"You are beautiful, but you are empty," he went on. "One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or ever sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."[said the fox]

"It is the time I have wasted for my rose--" said the little prince, so that he would be sure to remember.

"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose . . ."

Even more info...

For those that like to be very well-informed, Dr. Vincent Racaniello, a virologist and professor of Microbiology at Columbia University Medical Center has a virology blog. He's written several posts over the past week or so about the H1N1 flu, providing more detailed information about the flu from the literature we already have, answering questions and concerns that people have posed, and correcting misconceptions.

Swine Flu: the good, the bad, and the ugly

Earlier today, a friend asked me for my take on the swine flu, so I wrote a long email, decided to research it a little more to make sure my thoughts were valid, and put up an edited version of that email here. So here are my thoughts:

[disclaimer: I am a virology/cell bio/micro grad student so I have some knowledge in this area and have cited my information below; however, I do not in any way claim to be an expert on influenza. Many parts of this are also over simplified for readability.]

Why do viruses make us sick?
Let's start with a basic question because this will help you understand more later on. At the most basic level a virus is some sort of nucleic acid (a blue print) surrounded by protein, many have other accessories as well. It's only goal is to make more of itself; that's it. It really doesn't care if its host lives or dies as long as it can reproduce itself. This presents a problem because when the virus replicates itself, it shuts off the rest of the cell's function--it can't do anything besides make more virus. If the virus infects enough cells, then you've got tissue with limited function, etc. Your body takes care of this though with your immune system. Your body recognizes that there's something foreign there and begins an generic immune response to limit the infection. It then communicates through signaling pathways to recruit defenses--white bloods cells that will get rid of the infection (this is what causes inflammation). Your body can then mount a specific response to fight the specific virus. This is relatively easy for your body to do when it has encountered the pathogen (or disease-causing agent) before or something similar to it. This is why you only get chicken pox once and why vaccines work. Your body has a memory and can fight quickly and efficiently this way. However, if it is a new pathogen, it's not as easy or efficient. Viruses also have ways to trick your immune system by hiding from it or "breaking" parts of it. Different viruses have different levels of virulence (ability to cause disease)--this means that some are better at making you sick than others. A viral infection like the flu is a localized infection. This means that it infects your respiratory system in this case and then replicates there without spreading to the rest of the body; however, if the immune system doesn't tackle it and other tissues are permissive to infection, it could spread causing an even bigger problem.

But people get the flu every year...
This is true people get the flu and many people die from human strains every year (>300,000 worldwide, 10% of these in USA). However, most of those deaths occur in people >65 years old (1) and often as a result of secondary infection (eg pneumonia on top of viral infection). So if you're middle-aged and in good health, you may feel like crap for a couple weeks but your immune system can fight it off. Human flu strains are endemic in many areas of the world--this means the virus is present at a stable rate in a population. An epidemic occurs when there is an increase in this steady state. A pandemic occurs when the virus spreads across a wide region or the whole world. The 1918 flu pandemic is estimated to have killed 20-100 million people worldwide (1). But don't freak out yet... just keep reading.

So how's swine flu different?
Viruses have host specificity--they can't infect every type of animal or plant. In flu, this is due to two proteins: hemagglutinin and neuraminadase. This is where the H and N numbers come from. These two proteins are found on the outside of the virus and they attach to receptors on the surface of the cell to allow the virus to enter. If they can't attach, it can't infect. So up until now, swine flu only attached to a pig-specific receptor and couldn't recognize the human one. The unfortunate thing is: the H and N proteins can mutate and evolve really easily. That's why you have to get a flu shot every year--because they change! In the case of the swine flu, we knew about it several years ago (2) but it couldn't infect humans at the time. Now, it's evolved to be able to. These H and N proteins are main targets recognized from host immune response, so if they change significantly, you're body won't be able to mount a specific response as quickly. Also, some strains of virus are more virulent than others--this also is dependent on how well the H and N proteins can bind to the cell, how efficient virus replication is, and the ability to block the immune response, among other things. Part of this virulence with the flu can also be the way it can mix and match. It's genome is made up of 8 segments. Swine are kind of a "mixing bowl" since they have receptors that are recognized by swine, human, and avian flu viruses so all of these viruses can mix and match in a pig, leading to a much more dangerous one (2).

Another big issue right now with the swine flu, is that it is being transmitted human to human. So it's not just going from pig to human, which would keep it more contained. It's going human to human (Flu is transmitted by aersol--saliva droplets when you cough/sneeze), and given the possibility of transcontinental and international travel that makes it a lot easier to spread.

Does it live up to the hype?
Yes and no. It is a legitimate health concern and precautions should be taken (are being taken) to limit the spread of the virus if at all possible. From what I understand, they're still not sure how easily it's being transmitted and how virulent it really is. So we shouldn't ignore it and I would encourage you to stay informed. Specifically I would suggest listening to the Center for Disease Control (cdc.gov) and the World Health Organization (who.int) before anyone else; the media is having a hay day with and exaggerating it, I think. You should also take normal flu season precautions: wash your hands after using the restroom and before eating, avoid touching your face (esp your mouth) with your hands, see a doctor and stay home from work/school if you're feeling sick.

So there's my take on it. And to paraphrase my PI: I don't know if the realistic concern is really as severe as the perceived concern [by the media].
_________________________________________________

1. Taronna R. Maines, et al. (2008). "Pathogenesis of emerging avian influenza viruses in mammals and the host innate immune response." Immunological Reviews 225(1): 68-84.

2. Wuethrich, B. (2003). "Chasing the Fickle Swine Flu." Science 299(5612): 1502.

3. All general virology info came from "Principles in Virology" by SJ Flint et al. If you want the full citation, I can give it to you, but I don't have the book at my desk right now.

Well, it looks like you've got a tree in your lung... we'll have to operate.

5cm fir tree removed from patient's lung.

Seriously... how does that happen?! It makes my lungs hurt just thinking about it.

On the bright side...

Flu cases show need for science spending

The outbreak of a flu virus that has led to a U.S. public health emergency highlights the need for a strong government commitment to scientific research, President Barack Obama said on Monday.

...............................................................

"One thing is clear -- our capacity to deal with a public health challenge of this sort rests heavily on the work of our scientific and medical community," Obama said. "And this is one more example of why we cannot allow our nation to fall behind."

Adding to the list

A few things that I'm thankful for this weekend:

sleeping in.
tea.
sunshine.
park.
breeze.
naps in the park.
green.
conversations with Laura, Kendal, and Beth.
hugs.
painting.
church.
insightful pastors.
a long Sunday lunch with friends.
cold medicine.
immune system.
more sleep.

Real-life Pacman

This is a science-geek moment from my cell bio class, but I don't think you have to be a scientist to appreciate this. This is a white blood cell (part of the immune system) chasing down some bacteria. Your immune system at work, ladies and gentlemen.

Hugs

Every song's a comeback

The Wilco concert last night was one of the best concerts I've ever been to. We had great seats: front row of the balcony--you can see everything, no one in front of you, stand up/sit down whatever you want. Every song was great, even the ones I didn't know. Jeff Tweedy had the perfect amount of audience interaction; talking to the audience and making an occasional joke, but keeping it short (I mean, we're all there for the music right? :) ) And to top it all off, they did two encores. TWO. And not just one song each, the first encore was three songs including my all-time fave, and the second encore was five songs. An eight song encore... almost as long as the actual show. Who does that?! There was only one part of the concert that actually disturbed me and that was how much you could actually feel the auditorium balcony move... I was slightly concerned that at some point the whole thing was going to plummet to the floor smashing all of the Wilco fans underneath...

Anyway, here are a few of my faves from last night. Enjoy.






And my all-time fave:

How (not) to annoy your labmates pt 2

Defiantly crossing the acceptable-music-genre-and-volume boundary

Normally, this isn't a problem for me, but earlier this week I forgot my earbuds one day. Frankly, music is the only way I get through the stack of papers to grade without becoming depressed. So it was a dilemma to choose what I deemed acceptable music to listen to at a reasonable volume. I think in most cases it's best to go with something sort of mainstream. Acoustic is always good. Soft rock/easy listening. Limited twang. Jazz flute is most likely a 'no.' Probably best to steer clear of the the death metal if you want to stay on your co-worker's good side. So I put away my HSM soundtracks and country twang, and put on a mix of Jack Johnson and Coldplay.

Although, I did wonder what AJ, who now sits behind me , would do if I turned and asked him to sing Troy Bolton's harmonies to complete the HSM duets. Probably look at me like I'd been sampling the lab reagents and then ask to be moved to a different bay.

How to annoy your labmates pt 1

A couple weeks ago, there was a biodept product show. This basically means that several vendors set up booths in the Jordan Hall atrium and try to get you to buy everything from eppendorf tubes to thermocyclers to antibodies. They lure all the grad students there with free bagels or pizza, hoping that we'll talk our PIs (who are in control of the moolah) to buy their products. Basically we wander through the booths, acting interested, and then head for what we really came for--our lunch.

The vendors always have promotional free stuff: post-its and pens usually. My favorite are the pens shaped like pipetmen. This time one of the vendors had clappers. You know, those things that you get at sporting events that you shake back and forth to make really loud clapping noises? Really, there's only one purpose for these in the laboratory: to annoy your labmates. There are at least two of these clappers in our lab and over the past couple weeks, every once in awhile you'll hear a loud clapping noise followed by a yelp from a surprised (and probably annoyed) labmate. Yesterday, Rohini surprised/scared/annoyed Michelle. Michelle retaliated by hitting Rohini on the arm hard enough that it was still red 15 minutes later.

My first thought when this happened: Hardy lab fight club... :)

Resurrection, continued: It deserves two posts

I just ran across this poem from Mary Karr via 22 words. Striking and beautiful.

Descending Theology: The Resurrection
by Mary Karr

From the far star points of his pinned extremities,
cold inched in—black ice and squid ink—
till the hung flesh was empty.
Lonely in that void even for pain,
he missed his splintered feet,
the human stare buried in his face.
He ached for two hands made of meat
he could reach to the end of.
In the corpse’s core, the stone fist
of his heart began to bang
on the stiff chest’s door, and breath spilled
back into that battered shape. Now

it’s your limbs he comes to fill, as warm water
shatters at birth, rivering every way.