Unexpected blessings

In September, I received a great opportunity to work with Connexion. The timing was pretty much perfect; I had more free time on my hands than usual since I didn't have any classes this semester and wasn't in charge of leading a small group. My job title is administrator so I basically do administrative assistant type tasks for Connexion. Going into it I had certain expectations of myself and the experience and while some things turned out just how I expected, I was totally surprised by others... hence the blog post...

I'm a three, so organization and efficiency happen to be some of my strong points. Within days of beginning this job I had a new file folder, multiple spreadsheets and a shortcut on my desktop. All of that I can control; I can organize to my heart's content. But then comes the unpredictable, trying to recruit new volunteers for sound and slides was the first challenge. I began the semester with a list of 2 sound and 2 slide techs, 3/4 of whom were graduating at semester. For about a month, we announced and begged for new techs. I was beginning to become anxious to say the least... I can run a microscope like nobody's business, but if we don't have a sound tech we're going to have to go acoustic cause a sound board is totally foreign to me. It's in those moments that I had to remember to pray... isn't it ridiculous that it tends to be my last resort when I've exhausted all I can do, when it really should be my first? Anyway, after close to 6 wks of begging the volunteers came in a torrent and I have at least 5 new volunteers for each position. God comes through. Every time.

I was also excited to be working with the staff at ECC, because as much as they will deny that they're anything special, the truth is they're great and we're blessed to have them. Our pastors are real people... I don't really know how to describe this except to say that they live in the same world we live in. They're transparent about life and don't shirk tough or unpopular teaching even when it's hard to think about and come to grips with. I was expecting to enjoy being at Connexion again--another chance to worship on Sundays, great music, etc. But I wasn't expecting for the sermon series to hit me as much as it did. This semester, more than any other including undergrad, the messages at Connexion have been things that I needed to hear and be reminded of. Part of it was the message content and part, I think, was the delivery--Bob and Dan are particularly raw and honest during Connexion in a way that reaches beyond the formalities of Sunday morning services. It's refreshing, it's compelling, and it had me on the verge of tears (in a good way) at least a handful of times this semester... and I'm not typically one to cry in church. The Spirit was there.

The undergrad students have been great to be around as well. I'm not that far removed from undergrad life, but life at 25 is significantly different than it was at 18. I remember how easy it is to be totally distracted by classes, the college life, new-found independence, and to not have following Christ at the top of the priority list during undergrad, so it's just great to see their faith, their love and support for their friends, and their commitment to Christ and the church. I especially see it in the band and cgroup leaders that I've talked with more, but also in groups of students hanging around after Connexion praying for each other, etc.

So really, all that to say that I was excited about working with Connexion again and being able to use organizational skills that come naturally to me to serve the church and college students, but I completely underestimated the blessings that would come from the experience and the other people involved. It's been a great semester... definitely looking forward to the next.

Relaxation is...

Gravel roads...

Surrounded by cornfields...
Yardwork...
A yellow labrador retriever...

Sunrises...

Sunsets...

10 hrs of sleep per night...
Pajamas until noon...
Bowls of cereal while watching the Ellen show...
A boat on the lake...
Fishing with Grandpa and Dad...

Eating the fish we caught and other home-cooked meals...
Visiting and having lunch with my 102-yr-old Great-Grandma...
Shopping with Grandma...
Running errands, lunch, and spending day with Mom...
Reading anything but science...

Movin' on up to the east side

I am currently sitting in our new living room in our new apartment. It's about 80 degrees in here because I turned the AC down this morning and forgot about it, but despite the heat, I'm pretty darn happy to be sitting here on the internet (installed this morning) and not moving boxes or cleaning anything. I love our new place and can't wait to finish getting everything organized and decorated and for Jane to get here, but as is tradition I figured I'd make a transitional moving-apartments-what-I-will/won't-miss post.

I won't miss:
Our drug-dealing neighbors
Knifing plastic bags into the door cracks and duct taping around every pipe
The noisy undergrad parties at the house next door
The high frequency of dumpster divers
How progressively shady that neighborhood became over the past year
The lack of cabinet space in the kitchen

I will miss:
Being a 10-minute walk from campus
Being a 10-minute walk from downtown
Being a 5-minute walk from the Pourhouse
The lighting the bathroom (our new bathroom is some weird shade of yellow... contemplating painting it and/or new lightbulbs)

The Servant King

The kids in the 4s&5s class drew these on the chalk board wall today during the first service. I forgot to take a picture until after the second service kids had colored over and around it, but I think you can still see most of it. The person on the left is the "traditional" view of a king. The kids drew a crown, purple robes, a sack of gold coins (rich), a sword, and muscles (strong.) On the right is Jesus... a different kind of king. No crown (although the kids took creative license and decided that he had blue spikey hair), plain robes, no money, and a hammer (carpenter) although I think that got erased. Our story was about Jesus washing the disciples feet before the Last Supper; it's titled "The Servant King" in our kids Bible. Big props to Eliza, Kate, Gunnar, and James; they all did a great job with the drawings and thinking about what makes Jesus a different kind of king and why that's important.

Also, without any prompting, the 4 of them spent the last 5 minutes of story time telling me about how Jesus loves them, and God is with them all the time even though they can't see him, and He lives in their hearts. :) It's so awesome that these kids understand these truths at such a young age.

Love from Minnesota

Alternative title: My first conference.

I was in Minneapolis for a science conference for the last 5 days. Here's the experience in a nutshell:

1. 6am flights are dumb. I will never take one again. Please talk me out of it if I try.

2. Welcome reception: 1500 scientists, completely overwhelming; but good food though. I basically tagged along with Kevin, let him introduce me to people, and listened in on his mingling. Then the PIs told me that overwhelmed feeling never goes away. Like PI, like student I guess. Put us in a room full of people and watch the introverts in us emerge.

3. During symposium the first morning, Vincent R. of Virology Blog fame was sitting in the row in front of us. I was a bit starstruck.

4. Minneapolis was ridiculously hot and humid. It's farther north; it's not supposed to be as bad as IN! I blame the Mississippi river. I think I lost 5 lbs in sweat.

5. The poster session was basically awesome. To be honest, I was dreading it, but everyone I met was nice and encouraging. Had a few good conversations with professors. (Also, I was much more dressed up to present my poster... this pic's from the next day before I took it down.)

6. U of MN's connected buildings are like a labyrinth but with virologists running around to workshops and the occasional professor attacking a grad student's research* instead of a minotaur.

7. Got to have lunch with one of the symposium speakers. He was great. Gave me hope that there are other profs that can live up to the high standard that my fantastic PI has set.

8. Minneapolis has a great rent-a-bike system. Took off one morning and rode all around campus. Really beautiful there, although I missed the limestone.

9. There's nothing like a little college campus pub to encourage lab bonding. We are all permanently fused, I think. Too many inside jokes to count.

10. Before we went home, a couple of us went to the Mall of America. That place is insane. Particular favorites include the American Girl store and the Lego store.

*This really happened. I was at a different workshop but I heard it was tense, especially since the prof was the next speaker so decided to go ahead and come to the front to attack the work. A class on tact and skill in constructive criticism should be required for your degree.

Worth

If I have learned anything during grad school thus far, it is that at times when I am most overwhelmed and at a loss that I grow the most in my faith. I shouldn't be surprised by this, but I always am.

Prelims has had that effect and I can already count several lessons learned through the process. I'm thankful that in a time of feeling swamped with academics and flailing in all other aspects of life that I find my faith and relationship with God to be growing and not standing stagnant as I would have predicted. Again, it shouldn't be surprising that when I feel most at a loss that I cling to Him in the way that I should regardless of circumstance.

One of the lessons that has hit home the most during this process so far is that of worth. A couple weeks ago, I ran into a friend at the library where we were both working on our proposals. I stopped to ask how it was going. She gave a little shake of her head and we both laughed at this crazy process we found ourselves in the middle of. As we discussed the upcoming oral exams, it was obvious that she was worried, nervous, and completely overwhelmed. I'd been there before, and it was through those times that I talked myself through it by thinking about the worst case scenario. I shared with her what I thought that was. The worst case scenario was obviously failing and being kicked out of the program, but I know what kind of student I am and she is, and that seems highly unlikely for either of us. So the next worst case is looking stupid in front of our professors. That's it. Definitely not the end of the world. She looked at me, still very upset and said, "But I am stupid, so I am afraid of looking stupid in front of them." I know this girl; she is by no means stupid. I've been in classes with her and she's quite bright and intelligent. I assured her of this, but she didn't look convinced.

That was when I began thinking about the difference between us. Yes, there are some self-esteem and confidence issues that come into play, but at the root of all of it is worth. Regardless of how I do on my prelims, pass or fail, with flying colors or just scraping by, impressing my committee or making them second guess my intelligence... regardless of these circumstances that committee does not decide my worth. My worth as a PhD candidate maybe, but not my worth as a person. My worth comes from the identity that God instilled in me, from creating me in his image to the Spirit living inside of me. He knows my heart. He does not base my worth on how much or how little biochemistry or genetics I know. Because I know where my true worth comes from I can step into that examination, leave my pride at the door, and humbly accept the outcome whatever it may be. I still have to remind myself of this daily, sometimes hourly, but it is the truth. My friend doesn't know Christ and doesn't understand this. For her, her intelligence, her career as a scientist... these are the things she finds her worth in; no wonder she is overwhelmed with concern for the upcoming exams.

So as we continue on, I'm praying for her and for myself that we know where our worth comes from and in that we find security that can only come from God.

How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make not effort to obtain the praise that comes from the only God? John 5:44

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Matt 10: 29-31

With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may bring to fruition your every desire for goodness and your every deed prompted by faith. 2 Thessalonians 1:11

I have not much to offer You, not near what You deserve
But still I come because Your cross has placed in me my worth.

DIY: vanity/guitar chair

The motivation: I've been playing guitar for about a year now (whoa. time flies.) Most of the time I practice in my room so as to limit the noise while Jane is studying. My desk chair has arms which I consistently hit my guitar on, so that pretty much leaves the floor or my bed, which are not the most comfortable places to practice--sitting cross-legged gets old. My guitar teacher has a couple wooden chairs and they work perfectly. Goal: find old wooden chair for cheap and re-do it to fit my room.

The inspiration: Angie and Jenny's DIY-ness and craftiness. Sarah and Nicole's color palettes of wonder.

The project: I found this old vanity chair on craig's list for $5. Many thanks to my friend, Carrie, who went with me to pick it up. It's got a chip on the top, but otherwise in great shape. I decided to paint it and reupholster it to make it fit the color scheme of my room. By the way, the green and gold are totally an accident. Those pillows used to be in the living room of the house we lived in senior year... and then somewhere along the line they ended up in my room and I liked it. Also, you may notice that this color scheme (aside from the green) basically holds up in the living room too... yeah... I probably need to branch out more. :)



Step 1: Get rid of nasty, stale-cigarette-scented upholstery and rid chair of former tenant: a spider that looked just enough like a brown recluse to make me freak out a little.



Step 2: Wash chair and sand former stain off. Yes, as you can see from the picture, I did this in the living room. Please don't tell my mother; she would not approve. But it was raining and I put newspaper down and we have a new vacuum and I wanted to watch Harry Potter while I was doing it. And let it be known that the wood itself even smelled like cigarette smoke. Gross.



Step 3: Paint. I swear spray paint was invented by a 3: convenient, efficient, gets the job done. 1 can of white primer + 15 minutes + 2 cans leather brown paint + 30 minutes = done. Granted it's not my prettiest paint job--I got a little too spray paint happy in places and it dripped a bit. But for my purposes, it looks pretty good. (Also, I did this outside in our parking lot... not in my living room. :) And I forgot to take pictures.)



Step 4: Reupholster Seat. Materials: chair seat, 1" upholstery foam, 1 yard polyester batting, 1 yard fabric, staple gun (thanks to Jeremy for letting me borrow his!), 1 Reese's peanut butter egg-trust me on this one.
I cut the upholstery foam to about an 1" larger than the seat backing on all sides; I'm using two squares here because I couldn't find a piece big enough to fit this chair without buying a whole roll. Then I cut the batting, also bigger than the seat about 4-5" on each side. Pulled tight, stapled, and trimmed excess. Did the same with the fabric. I found this coral-colored paisley fabric with bright green accents that I completely love. One yard of it cost more than I paid for the whole chair. Haha. Voila!



Step 5: Reattach the seat to the chair. Oddly enough this was probably the most challenging part--getting the screws back in the same holes in the chair.

Done! I'm pretty happy with it. Now, I just have to rearrange my room to accommodate it. :)
Total: chair $5 + Paint ~$10 + Fabric, Foam, Batting ~$15 = $30

Miller Time

I really like Donald Miller's writing. I find it honest, genuine, down-to-earth, truth-seeking and refreshing. Not to mention that it always leads me back to the Bible. To thinking about Jesus and what this life we're trying to live really is. Also, beyond just his books, he writes blog posts which frequently knock my socks off and occasionally give me a laugh. Here's a couple excerpts that I enjoyed this week, all revolving around the reading he's doing in John. I highly suggest reading the whole posts--they're linked below.

"If I hadn’t grown up in religion, I’d probably talk to Him right away and tell Him he’s a fool and then realize pretty quickly He’s not and then we’d get a beer." --on meeting Jesus

"I like that we don’t have to be sappy about our faith. And I like that we don’t have to always understand. And I like that it’s honorable of us to talk to God and say, Hey, man, I’m uncomfortable with this but you know, I’ve got no other options. You’re the Son of God. I’m with you whatever. It’s not like this other crap system of seeking glory is any better." --on faith

"I often turn my faith into voodoo like seances and emotion-filled prayers in seeking God’s will, while Jesus Himself just uses common sense. I’m not going to Judea, He says, because those guys are trying to kill me. I’ll go over to Galilee instead. I hear they have a Dairy Queen."

"Miracles happen and people get visions for sure. But mostly God gives us a hoe and some seeds and introduces us to the miracle of work and a lot of common sense." --on common sense

What story are you telling?

What story are you telling? from Rhetorik Creative on Vimeo.

Sisters

Pioneer Woman's latest photo contest has the subject of "Sisters". I've loved looking through all of the photographs, most of which have been of sisters with each other. Over my past 25 years, on occasion I've heard phrases like "I can't imagine not having a sister" or "What do women/girls do without a sister to turn to?", etc, but I've never completely understood those sentiments. I understand the value of a biological sister, but I don't have one and I've never felt a void in my life because of it, for a couple reasons I think:

1. I have a fantastic brother (or as he signed an email to me this week: "Your favorite, bestest, smartest, greatest, awesomest brother")
2. I do have sisters. We don't have the same parents, but they've filled the roll of 'sister' for me. Some of them I've known since grade school, some for less than a year and a whole range in between. Anything that you would do, say, share with a sister, I've done, said, shared with these women. I guess this is where the cliche fits for me: I don't know what I'd do without these women. Here are my sisters...

Giving value to survival

This evening I was chatting with some friends over dinner about art experience type projects that we had heard of and found particularly cool (see below). In light of recent government budget cuts, we also got onto of the subject of the arts being cut from schools. Something that, while none at the table was an artist by trade, we were all firmly against. We were involved in music or art or drama at some point during school, and I, for one, would not be who I am without it. Believe it or not, I was not a science geek in high school. I liked it and all, but I was really more into music, theater, and dance. I was in every band we had, 3 school plays, and went swing dancing on the weekends with my friends. It was where I grew out of the shy teenager into the woman who now loves to interact with people, is confident in her own skin, and gets a weird thrill out of public speaking. Playing music was and still is one of the most effective ways for me to calm an anxious mind, soothe a hurting heart, or work out frustration. My English, math, and science classes (while important and well-liked) didn't do those things; the arts did.

So I began thinking: what are we really trying to accomplish? The "core" subjects are important to have for everyday functioning, communication and future careers, but the arts are just as important for character development. C.S. Lewis said, " Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself (for God did not need to create). It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which gives value to survival." What exactly are we trying to accomplish with standardized tests and only catering to the left-brain? It seems we're limiting ourselves by shutting down creative thinking--and not just creative thinking to solve problems, but creative thinking just for the sake of creating. Like Lewis said, these things give value to survival. What is the point if we're simply manipulated (by ourselves or others) into trying to get to "the top," make the most money, get the fanciest job, but never really have a life that's filled with the satisfaction that God intended? It's not worth it to work so hard at "surviving the best" if there's no value in the survival. Obviously music and art are only a part of this, but there are so many things that the world counts unnecessary or frivolous, but God very clearly values. Sacrifice/offering (Matt 26:6-13), rest (Matt 11:28, Psa 46:10), and music as expression and praise (Psalm 33... and lots of others), just to name a few. Why is it so hard for us to understand this when we can clearly see the good that comes out of them? Just look at the examples below:

Music brings joy, community, fellowship, and happiness.

Hey Jude Times Square Subway Station from 39forks on Vimeo.

It's just plain fun. And encourages other healthy habits.


And last, but definitely not least:
Art helps communication.

my flash drive has limbs.

The ultimate never-ending story

"We've already finished that book." --Zachary, 4 yrs old.

He told me this as I got out the kids' Bible to tell them the story during Sunday school.

Haha. :)

Trivial Confessions

Confession: I discovered this weekend that I have not balanced my checkbook since Sept 2007, nor do I plan to start.

Confession: Mendel was a topic in the class I was AI-ing this morning. I got this weird "awww Mendel" nostalgic feeling. (Yes, it's weird. No, I can't explain it.)

Confession: My feet are in love with the new space heater under my desk.

Confession: I hate apartment hunting. I also hate moving. And packing. And unpacking. However, my dislike of my upstairs neighbors overrides all of these.

Confession: There is an open word document where I should be writing a conference abstract right now. The blinking cursor is mocking me.