Bodies

Today, Kendal took me to the Bodies Exhibit in downtown Indy as a post-birthday present. So cool. The scientist in me was thoroughly fascinated. Textbooks just don't give human anatomy justice. My favorite parts of the exhibit were the full body displays that are in all different poses and showing skeletal structure, muscles, and/or internal organs. The circulatory system room was also pretty cool--they were able to preserve blood vessels in an arm and leg and get rid of everything else. Creepiest part: The display of human skin (looks like leather) This exhibit gives you a little closer look at God's creation... amazing. Check it out: Bodies Exhibit

Remembering

I forget things... a lot more often than I think. I realized recently that the great thing about forgetting is remembering. Take autumn, for example. On any given day, if you asked me what my favorite season is I'd probably say spring or summer. Autumn would take 3rd place, only because the gloomy gray days of winter last far too long in my opinion. But every year October takes me by surprise. The leaves changing into gorgeous colors, the cooler air replacing the heat of summer. I really do love it.

The same thing happens when I come home. Home-home (as opposed to Bloomington-home.) Sometimes I forget how much I enjoy the quiet of the country, or the smell of my grandma's house, or being teased by my brother and cousin. But when I remember... it makes me smile, like I'm rediscovering it again for the first time.

Yet another example at the library last week--I checked out some Emerson. I forgot how much I like poetry. Here's a taste:

The Rhodora
(RW Emerson)

On being asked, whence is the flower.

In May, when sea-winds pierced our solitudes,

I found the fresh Rhodora in the woods,

Spreading its leafless blooms in a damp nook,

To please the desert and the sluggish brook.

The purple petals fallen in the pool

Made the black water with their beauty gay;

Here might the red-bird come his plumes to cool,

And court the flower that cheapens his array.

Rhodora! if the sages ask thee why

This charm is wasted on the earth and sky,

Tell them, dear, that, if eyes were made for seeing,

Then beauty is its own excuse for Being;

Why thou wert there, O rival of the rose!

I never thought to ask; I never knew;

But in my simple ignorance suppose

The self-same power that brought me there, brought you.

Planes, trains, and automobiles

It will only take me 2 hours to drive home tomorrow to be with my family.

My aunt, uncle, and cousins will drive across 4 states (~12 hrs) to be here for Christmas.

Melissa and I had dinner (and donuts!) tonight, thanks to her quick flight from Massachusetts.

If it were not for air travel, odds are I wouldn't know and enjoy the company of Doug, Miriam, Joni, Payel, Krithika, Ying, Rohini, Rich, or Vasanthi. (This list could be extended :) )

My life is richer for the people listed above, among many others. Without innovative transportation, we may not have crossed paths, or at least not as often. Thanks to God for the blessings of the people in my life and the means that brought us together.

(Let's overlook the contribution planes, trains, and cars make to global warming for the sake of this post...)

Stop trying to clean the house and open the door

Last night as I was trying to figure out what to do with my new-found free time (obviously the internet won out over the overwhelming pile of dishes in the sink) I ran across the Stuff Christians Like blog. I've read snippets of it before and enjoyed it, but I really liked his post yesterday. Take a look: #458 Fixing our motives.

I totally do this more often than I'd like to think--try to fix things on my own before coming to God. Let's take a moment (or a lot longer) to be thankful that we can't fix ourselves, but God can and is just waiting on us to open the door and let him in.

EDIT: Right after I wrote this, it hit me that it also ties in with the Mary and Martha dilemma (Luke 10:38-42). Food for thought.

The importance of being stupid

This is a slight detour from the "thankfulness" posts, to expand on the stupidity/grad school post from yesterday. Maybe I should clarify a few things. (Hopefully this will make you feel better about it, Nicole!)

First, I think the "Impostor syndrome" is most common with in the sciences, specifically those involving a laboratory research component. Not that it doesn't happen in other programs, but it seems to be a consistent trend when you're trying to figure out how to ask meaningful questions about biological systems and then how to go about answering them.

Second, feeling stupid is a good thing! Hard to deal with at times, but good. I like this quote from Winston Churchill: "Personally I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught." For me, I think its a pride issue. It still creeps up often, but now that I know what it is, I'm better able to combat it. It's a challenge to be comfortable with feeling stupid and going beyond that, to be comfortable enough to ask the questions you're thinking regardless of if you think they're stupid or not.

There was an editorial in the Journal of Cell Science last spring entitled "The importance of stupidity in scientific research." (Schwartz, 2008) Here are a few excerpts from it (emphasis added).

Second, we don’t do a good enough job of teaching our students
how to be productively stupid – that is, if we don’t feel stupid it
means we’re not really trying. I’m not talking about ‘relative
stupidity’, in which the other students in the class actually read
the material, think about it and ace the exam, whereas you don’t.
I’m also not talking about bright people who might be working
in areas that don’t match their talents. Science involves confronting
our ‘absolute stupidity’. That kind of stupidity is an existential
fact, inherent in our efforts to push our way into the unknown.
...
Productive stupidity means being ignorant by choice. Focusing
on important questions puts us in the awkward position of being
ignorant. One of the beautiful things about science is that it allows
us to bumble along, getting it wrong time after time, and feel
perfectly fine as long as we learn something each time. No doubt,
this can be difficult for students who are accustomed to getting the
answers right. No doubt, reasonable levels of confidence and
emotional resilience help, but I think scientific education might do
more to ease what is a very big transition: from learning what other
people once discovered to making your own discoveries. The more
comfortable we become with being stupid, the deeper we will wade
into the unknown and the more likely we are to make big
discoveries.

------------------------------------------------------------------
Schwartz, M. A. (2008). "The importance of stupidity in scientific research." Journal of Cell Science 121: 1771.

First semester down

I cannot even begin to tell you how extremely thankful I am that my biochemistry class is OVER! I took the last exam tonight; it wasn't the worst one, and it wasn't fantastic, but it's over. This was by far the hardest class I have ever taken. I've never had grades this low (luckily the whole class has grades similar to mine and there's a rather nice curve.) I actually like biochemistry, but this class... well, this class is notorious for making students hate it.

This past semester of grad school has been one of the most humbling experiences. Grad school makes you feel stupid. That's its job. You're supposed to feel stupid. Every day. They even have a lady from CAPS come in and talk to us at the beginning of the semester about Impostor Syndrome--when you begin to feel like you're not smart enough for this and that they must have admitted you by mistake--no joke, there's an actual name for it. I knew this coming into grad school; one of my closest coworkers in my old lab warned me about it and told me to not let it get to me--that it happens to everybody and the sooner you all admit to each other that you feel stupid, the sooner you can bond over it. (So true, I'm also thankful for the other Micro/MBG ladies who are all pretty awesome.) So here it is, one semester of feeling stupid down. I'm thankful I made it through with some pretty good friends, a great research project lined up, a passing biochem grade, and some measure of sanity.

Today's praise

ECC's Christmas Cantata. Adorable kids, extremely talented musicians, and the vocal stylings of Chelsea and Christina--all praising God. Enough Said.

There is no frigate like a book...

I was one of those kids who always had her nose stuck in a book--on the school bus, in the car, at recess. I love books. The stories, the characters, problems, resolutions, relationships--I can get lost in it all. I'm thankful for the printing press and the fact that books of all sorts are all readily available at the nearest library or bookstore. Not to mention the fact that we have the privilege of having God's Word in print to read and study for ourselves.

Lately, I've only been able to read science journal articles (aside from a couple weeks ago when I managed to make it through the first 20 pages of Pride and Prejudice before falling asleep on the couch.) Christmas break is prime time to read to my heart's desire, but I need suggestions! I'm game for just about anything: fiction, non-fiction, history, biography, poetry... So if you have any ideas I would be happy to hear them. :)

There is no frigate like a book
To take us lands away,
Nor any coursers like a page
Of prancing poetry.
This traverse may the poorest take
Without oppress of toll;
How frugal is the chariot
That bears a human soul!
-Emily Dickinson

Spirit-filled

Every once in awhile at Cgroup and Yellow House I wonder how so many uniquely awesome people can end up in the same room at the same time. Then the Holy Spirit taps me on the shoulder (or whacks me upside the head, depending on what the situation calls for) and reminds me that it's all due to Him living inside these people. Praise God for the gift of his Spirit living in us.

Spirit filled souls are ablaze for God. They love with a love that glows. They serve with a faith that kindles. They serve with a devotion that consumes. They hate sin with fierceness that burns. They rejoice with a joy that radiates. Love is perfected in the fire of God. --Samuel Chadwick

Science humor

A little more on the light-hearted side of things: I appreciate scientists, their senses of humor, and their unashamed delight in studying the world.

Example 1: Science meets MTV. An actual advertisement for a polymerase chain reaction (PCR) machine, We-Are-the-World style.



Example 2: My birthday "cake" from friends.

The 'rents

I honestly don't know how I ended up with such a great family. Really. Huge blessing. It was wonderful having my parents in town visiting today and just being able to spend time with them. I appreciate them so much more now that I've been (relatively) on my own for a handful of years. I know there's no way I'd be the same person without their guidance, support, and love. And I know that God used them as more than just loving support and a moral standard. They made sure that I was at church, Sunday school, and youth group every Sunday--in a way, He used them to bring me to Him--and for that I will be eternally grateful (literally).

As for my mom, I appreciate the fact that she always has a listening ear. When she asks how you are, she cares about the answer. She's also been my shoulder to cry on for more than one occasion, everything from skinned up knees to a broken heart. A hug from mom has gotten me through many rough days. Her family is top of the list. I don't think I can even grasp all the things that she has done for Chad and I throughout the last 23 years. Chauffeuring us to innumerable practices and performances, sitting through all of our band concerts, sports events, and academic competitions (even though those are insanely boring), making sure that homework was taken care of, chaperoning the elementary fieldtrips, being team mom and room mother, making who knows how many lunches and baked goods for school events--and that's just for starters. Her hospitality is unmatched in my book. She always goes above and beyond. I could keep going, but that would take more than one blog post. :)

As for my dad, he's the hardworking perfectionist of our family. He doesn't just scrape by on a project, he puts the time in to get it right. When I came home in 4th grade and told him that I wanted to show sheep, he was all for it and went out of his way to talk to local sheep farmers and read books (which is not his favorite pastime) so that he knew what to do. My quiet side is from my dad. He may not be super talkative but when he talks, you listen. I can list off my favorite times with my dad; they aren't anything spectacular--just times when we spent quality time together. Bike rides after dinner (and picking weeds/flowers to give to mom), trips to get grape slushies, afternoons around the barns, sheep show days, him teaching me things even when I didn't want to learn. I remember at sheep shows there were friends whose dads would get frustrated when they didn't get something right, but my dad was always so patient with me. It didn't matter if I won or if I answered the judge's questions correctly or if I made a mistake in the ring. My dad was more concerned that I tried my best and learned from my mistakes. Oh, and hugs from dad are top notch too--always make me feel safe and loved beyond what I can comprehend.

I love my parents dearly. I am so grateful that God placed me in this family.

Snow

I'm grateful for snow and the magical touch it adds to a chilly, winter day. There's nothing quite like waking up to a world covered in white with giant snowflakes still slowing floating down from the sky.

(This wasn't quite the view I woke up to this morning, but a parking lot covered in snow isn't quite as pretty to look at :) ; this picture's from a Christmas at home a few years ago.)

K-Herg

Kendal, my roommate and best friend is just awesome. I was thinking last night that I probably take her for granted far too often. So today, I am remembering how extremely thankful I am for her. Where do I even begin? Maybe I should just tell you a few stories...

When my dog died last spring, she was the first to offer a tissue and a hug and let me cry on her shoulder. When I've dealt with break-ups, she sat with me and let me talk through it and then brought me back to reality with words of advice and hope. Loving.

Once 'Build Me Up Buttercup' was playing on one of our computers and we ended up making it a duet. Now it's a typical event around our place. Fun.

We talked once for probably a good half an hour about what could cause cranio-facial duplication. Sciency conversation is never hard to come by around here. Kendal's been sharing stuff with me about her physiology class lately (fyi, don't climb mount everest. The low O2 content is really really bad for your physical and mental health).She got into IU med school and is going to be one heck of a doctor. She's also concerned about healthcare in underpriveleged populations and is working with MiddleWay to develop new policy that will be submitted to the government. Smart.

Last night, neither one of us made it back to the apartment until after 8pm. Kendal had run to Target after her meeting and pulled out a bag of Milanos from the Target sack. She said she purposely got the chocolate raspberry ones because she knows I don't like chocolate mint. Today I had to run home to grab some notes I forgot and she drove me back to campus so that I wouldn't be late for class. Thoughtful.

So yeah, she's pretty great. I'm really really thankful for who she is, her friendship, and the fact that she puts up with me. :) I'm going to miss her next year.

P.S. I'm also thankful for the nice man from Baron Hill's district office that helped me find the room that Kendal's Leadership,Ethics, and Social Action poster presentation was in today.

I like Thursdays

Maybe this thankfulness thing will end up being a daily post... who knows. I'll probably miss days, but 3 in a row isn't bad.

Today I'm thankful for Thursdays. Thursdays mean a delicious cup of tea and a good chat with Erica at the Pourhouse to start my day. Sometimes, like today, I hang around and read my Bible for a bit before heading off to work. On Thursdays, I don't have any classes to teach or take so it's a full day of lab work, which I love. Today I'm going to start my fly work which should be interesting. Tonight I have an AI meeting which is the one downfall of Thursdays, but even that isn't so bad. Jenny and I always end up making the meetings enjoyable, making up lab olympic events (pipette javelin) or making up interesting things to go along with the model organisms (the Manduca dance).

So all in all, Thursdays are pretty awesome, and I'm thankful that today is Thursday. :)

EDIT: I'm also really thankful for Beth and our almost weekly lunches/coffee breaks, which are not exclusive to Thursdays but did occur today. :)

A season of being thankful

So rumor has it that Pastor Bob issued a task last week to be consciously thankful for something/someone everyday this advent season. I was out of town on Sunday and haven't listened to the sermon yet, so I'm going to assume that's similar to what it was. I'm going to try to be specific with my thankfulness and not just cop out with "my family and friends" as per usual.

So yesterday it was the care and consideration of my friends.

Today, I'm thankful for God's grace while teaching, especially when I don't feel adequately prepared to answer questions about population genetics. The lab I teach went well this morning, despite the fact that I didn't feel well prepared for it and I'm no where near an expert on the genetic diversity of the broccoli family. All thanks to God.

Care and consideration

Over the past week or so I've been somewhat overwhelmed (in a good way) by my friends and their consideration for my physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. Today I was reminded of it again.

I ended up with a cold over break. It's definitely not the worst cold I've had, but I ended up staying home from lab for most of yesterday because I was exhausted and not really focusing very well. (Lab work in that state of mind usually ends up in failed experiments and frustration in my experience.) Today, the professor I work with came into the lab and wandered over to my bench. "How're you doing?" he asked. Normally, that's his casual way of asking "How are your experiments coming along and do you have any new results?" So without really looking up I answered "Fine. I have some new pictures to show you," and started to pull the pictures up on my computer. He stopped me by saying, "No. How are YOU?" For some reason, that really touched me that he remembered that I was gone yesterday and took time to ask how I was even though I was ready to jump right into a conversation about work.

Honestly, I don't know why I expect less, but I do. I guess that's why I've been pleasantly overwhelmed lately at the level of caring I've seen from my friends and family. I can see the Spirit in them and I appreciate it more than I can say. It makes me resolve to be that kind of friend back to them.