The 5 people you meet in the lab

Sparked by the thought “There’s one in every lab…” here’s a short description of some typical lab personalities.*

The Grinch
Mad at the world, the Grinch finds fault in almost everything. Failed experiments, messy lab benches, and personal issues are all fair game. The grumbling can take the form of amusing or annoying depending on the nature of the Grinch. He/she can often be found banging their head against the wall in frustration over a failed experiment/an obstinate PI/a stressful committee meeting. The Grinch can be intimidating to new lab members, but once you confirm that the frown wasn’t caused by you and bond over a shared disappointment, you realize that the Grinch's heart is really three sizes bigger than you thought

The Candide
The opposite of the Grinch, the Candide can find the bright side of anything. The Candide’s cheeriness can be either encouraging or irritating. The Candide is typically new to the science world and therefore not jaded yet, or has been doing research so long that they’ve developed an apathy that overrides disappointment and scientific hardships. Even the PI that is notorious for making people cry can’t squeeze a tear out of the Candide.

The Go-to Guy/Gal
The answer to many questions lab members ask each other typically ends in “Hmm, not sure. Did you ask ____?” The Go-to Guy knows it all. He’s on top of everything from how to troubleshoot your failed transformation and the location of the elusive ampicillin aliquots to tomorrow’s weather forecast and the best youtube videos. Opinions about the Go-to Guy depend completely on his level of humility. Humble Go-to Guys are everyone’s friend and immensely appreciated for their knowledge. Arrogant Go-to Guys are avoided at all costs even though it will take you an extra 20 minutes to search through two -80 freezers to find those hidden freezer stocks by yourself.

The Chatterbox
If you want to get anything done today, don’t get this one started (on the other hand if you want to procrastinate, fire away). The Chatterbox can talk extensively about anything, anytime, anywhere. Subjects range from politics to grocery store produce. Ask one simple question and receive an hour long analysis of experimental design/weekend plans/“When I was a kid/in undergrad/did that experiment…” stories. Neither lack of eye contact nor walking away is an effective escape strategy. The Chatterbox will follow… still talking.

The Over-achiever
The Over-achiever is in the lab when you arrive in the morning and still around when you leave. There may actually be a cot hidden under their bench to ensure that no time is wasted going home to sleep. Sometimes guilt seeps in when you feel like you should be working harder like the Over-achiever. Then you remember that most people need rest, social interaction, and hobbies to balance out their work life.

* Not based on anyone in particular, but rather a combination of personalities I’ve encountered and heard stories about.