Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Show me Your glory

I caught a glimpse of your splendor
From the corner of my eye
Most beautiful thing I've ever seen
It was like a flash of lightning
Reflected off the sky
And I know I'll never be the same

Show me Your glory
Send down Your presence
I want to see Your face
Show me Your glory
Majesty shines about You
And I can't go on without You, Lord

When I climb down the mountain
And get back to my life
I won't settle for ordinary things
I'm gonna follow You forever
And all of my days
I won't rest until I see you again

Show me Your glory
Send down Your presence
I want to see Your face
Show me Your glory
Majesty shines about You
I can't go on without You, Lord

-"Show me Your glory" Third Day

If you asked me about the most important thing that God has taught me this year, I would say it was what He has taught me about His glory. I've been hearing about God's glory my whole life... literally, I grew up in the church and I actually cannot remember a time when I did not know the name Jesus. It's taken me 22 years to get a little glimpse of what God's glory actually means/looks like. It's one of those words that you use often, but when asked to define it, you stumble. So that's first... what is the definition of glory: n. a state of great splendor, magnificence, or prosperity; something that is a source of honor, fame, or admiration.

So how have I seen God's glory this year? First, is through science (big surprise there, huh?). I talk about science a lot... I realize that, and it's not going to change. :) Science is one of the things that God has given me a passion for. Just within the last year or so, I finally realized that one of the reasons that science is so cool, is God. Studying science is studying God's creation. Every time one of my professors says something along the lines of "It's amazing how this works. If this one aspect was changed, it wouldn't function at all" etc, I have a little 'hallelujah' moment. I have such a huge appreciation for nature, the human body, and the universe as a whole. My roommate and I were just talking the other day about how the more we learn about how our bodies work, the more we're freaked out that they even work at all. I'm breathing right now involuntarily. If for some reason my lungs stop, I die. Do you ever move just because you can? Ok, this is going to sound strange... sometimes just for the fun of it I think "I'm going to move my hand" and then my hand moves,. It gives me this sense of awe... how does that happen?! A message can go from my brain down to my fingers! Isn't that cool?! God's glory is so evident in His creation.

Ok, moving on from science... Another way God has shown me His glory this year is through my Cgroup. Normally, when I lead a group of any sort, I have this checklist either written down or just in my head. Things I need to do to make this group successful, or me successful as a leader. I need to organize this, do that, pray for this, read that, talk to this person, etc. I don't think there was one time this year, when I had my entire list "checked off" before Cgroup. There was always something (sometimes several things) that I didn't get done. There were days that I didn't get around to doing the lesson until the night before, and I didn't feel as prepared as I wanted to be. Despite my unfinished to-do list, God always showed up, always blessed the conversation, always brought the group even closer together-as a family. The success of this group had nothing to do with me and my checklist, and everything to do with God. Glory be to God! He deserves all the honor and praise.

Ascribe to the LORD, O mighty ones,
ascribe to the LORD glory and strength.

Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name;
worship the LORD in the splendor of his holiness.

Psalm 29:1-2 (go read the rest of it; it's beautiful)

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Out of Control

My plans. Haha, that's a laugh, right? Deep down I know that God is in control of everything that happens in my life, but I need a daily reminder. Probably more than that to be honest--an hourly reminder at least.

This week I've been working on my grad school applications. Everything is coming together nicely and for that, I am thankful. However, I've been losing sight of the fact that I'm not really in control of this. I like to be in control of some things and academics is definitely one of them. When I went to Cgroup last week, Ida Jo was asking me about the schools I was applying to and hypothetical situations that might come up. What if I don't get into IU? What if I do get in to all the schools I apply to--then where will I go? I had thought of these things before and had answers to all of the questions, but it still made me think. The grad students and the professor that I work for seem to think that I won't have trouble getting in anywhere. I've been really comforted by that and kind of put aside my worrying because of it. It just occurred to me, however, that it doesn't really matter how qualified I am. If God doesn't want me to be here at IU, it doesn't matter how good my grades are or what great things my professors say in their recommendations. If it's not in God's plan, I won't get in. And vice versa, even if I don't think I'm qualified enough God can still put me wherever He wants me to be.

This is unsettling and comforting at the same time. Unsettling due to the fact that I can't prepare myself enough. I can do all the "right" things. Get all the best grades and test scores. Those things can help get me into a good school, but if it's not where God wants me to be, the best qualifications don't mean a thing. I've never actually had the control I thought I had in the situation. On the other hand, it is comforting to know that those things are out of my control. I don't have to worry about my future, because God knows exactly where to put me. He's got my best interest in mind.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

That said, these plans that the Lord has for me--for prosperity, for my future--are not necessarily what I might consider prosperous and right for my future. I think it's important to note this since the "prosperity gospel" has recently been brought to my attention. God's plan to "prosper" me does not mean that he's going to make me rich, or keep me from sickness, or give me the perfect husband and family someday. It simply means that He knows what's best for me and when I seek Him out and choose to follow His plan for my life, only then will I be able to live to the fullest--to be prosperous in the Lord.
I'll leave you with a verse from my favorite Psalm:

My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
Psalm 139:15-16